Posts tagged feminism

BBC bans all-male panels on comedy shows such as QI and Mock the Week

classictrek:

As I get older (and, you know, more aware of the issues that surround things like this), the less I can stomach Spock’s mental assault on Valeris in Star Trek VI. Everything about the scene speaks to the complete ignorance of everyone involved when it comes to women’s issues and rights. What is, on the surface, a typical (if tasteless, as these things tend to be) torture-the-bad-guy-until-they-cough-up-some-information moment takes on some very sinister undertones with a little examination.

After deducing that Valeris is responsible for Gorkon’s death and confronting her in sickbay, the next step is fairly obvious: interrogation. However, instead of taking Valeris to the brig or even to a briefing room to find out what she knows, Kirk and Spock bring her to the bridge where, after she refuses to comply with their requests for information, Spock forces himself on her in front of everyone.

Star Trek has generally shown the mind meld to be a deeply personal action. Even when it occurs between two willing individuals, it’s shown to be a heavy, intimate undertaking. In fact, in Star Trek III, Sarek hesitates before joining his mind with Kirk’s for what amounted to a quick visit to make sure that his son hadn’t made a deposit in JTK’s memory bank.

Spock opting to perform the action in front of everyone may have given Nicholas Meyer a few dramatic seconds of footage, but a handful of uncomfortable glances doesn’t make up for how complicit it makes the entire cast look. Meyer worked hard to make the entire scene play out like a rape in front of the cameras, down to the fact that Valeris, her eyes filled with tears, cries out in a distinctly sexual way during the meld after Spock pushes her against her mental walls. I understand the logic of this approach. It is a complete violation of another person, after all, but the lack of any kind of follow-up just highlights how thoughtlessly the scene ended up being written and directed.

Outside of a quick glance at Valeris before going about his business, Spock shows absolutely no remorse for his actions. In the next scene, he’s seen meditating in his quarters but she only comes up in a single line in the entire conversation: Spock’s “I was prejudiced by her accomplishments as a Vulcan” as an excuse for not figuring out who was responsible in the first place. Instead, he and Jim Kirk talk about being old men and having old men problems with the future, which is nice, but a line or two about what occurred and how Spock felt would have made the hero’s extreme actions feel a little more understandable, if not exactly heroic.

Everyone complains about Alice Eve’s underwear moment in Star Trek Into Darkness and yes, that’s about as dumb as these things get, but having Carol Marcus tell Jim Kirk to not look at her in her skivvies seems downright quaint compared to watching one of the series protagonists assault a woman he’s known for decades with no repercussions or regrets.

This was my quote in the @lupecboston cocktail recipe book.

…Generally when men refer to their exes as “crazy” what I keep hearing is “she had emotions, and I did not like that.”

I think maybe there is some confusion on what crazy is.

Dudes of the world – if you do not return your girlfriend’s calls for a week, and she shows up at your door yelling, she is not crazy. She is angry at you. There’s a difference. “Crazy’ would be if you did not return her calls for a week and she decided she was a lighthouse.

What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk. And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a women, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.” When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.

- from “Lady, You Really Aren’t Crazy

Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks even on the house he’s never visited. You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly so arid. Don’t wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries. Don’t lose too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid. You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas. Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street.

Frida Kahlo

let’s try this again, shall we?

I once did this for a girl I didn’t know. Her boyfriend, a friend of the guy I was dating, sat at the table with his new pursuit, laughing, as I typed the text to her into his phone. He scapegoated me but still broke up with her — two weeks later. Slept with the girl he was pursuing that night. Girl 1 still hates me, as far as I know. Maybe someday she won’t. I have to stand by it, I’d want someone to do it for me.

I once did this for a girl I didn’t know. Her boyfriend, a friend of the guy I was dating, sat at the table with his new pursuit, laughing, as I typed the text to her into his phone. He scapegoated me but still broke up with her — two weeks later. Slept with the girl he was pursuing that night. Girl 1 still hates me, as far as I know. Maybe someday she won’t. I have to stand by it, I’d want someone to do it for me.

This is another bill with a motherhood-and-apple-pie title.
…women who will prowl 30 stores in 6 malls to find the right cocktail dress, but haven’t a clue where to find fulfillment or how wear joy…
I’ve never been into slam poetry, but this is great.

[NSFW audio] A great point: Dan Savage on men reconciling virgin/whore complexes.